Testimonial: Manager in Music Industry - attended for low confidence caused by depression and anxiety

When I first met Jeraline eight months ago, I was pleasantly surprised at both how warm and friendly she was. The calm and relaxing atmosphere certainly makes talking about difficult subjects that little bit easier.

Looking back over the weekly sessions I’ve had at Lijeke, I am proud at how far I’ve come, and how much I’ve changed – and that change has been made by myself rather than by being told how to change. Jeraline works by suggesting new ways of thinking, or different ways of looking at a situation or subject. I had plenty of issues to discuss when I first came to Lijeke, and while they are still part of my life, the way I think about them and the power they have over me has, I believe, dramatically changed.

I have found I'm able to focus on the positives rather than the negatives, and to find a balance emotionally. I’ve learnt to live with and accept various aspects of my personality, and with the experiences from my past which were causing me pain. Most importantly, I think I've learned to at least begin to stop blaming and hating myself for those experiences, which I now can see were never my fault. All in all it has been rewarding, if sometimes tough, eight months adn I feel that I am ready to face the future with renewed optimism and would happily recommend Lijeke and Jeraline to anyone looking for a wise and sympathetic ear.

Testimonial: Quality Controller in Fashion Industry - attended for relationship counselling and confidence issues

When I came to work with Jeraline I was very sad. She helped me to learn to enjoy taking up space in the world, and not feel guilty about who I am. She was challenging and made me work hard, she didn't allow me to fake it.

Testimonial: Journalist - attended for low confidence and body issues

I am a 24 year old woman who started going to Lijeke six months ago because I really felt counselling was my last hope. I was at a place where I didn’t want to die but I was too scared to live. For years I’d battled with low self-esteem, weight issues and a sense of “unbelonging”. My outer confidence masked the fact that inwardly, I felt totally unworthy of all the good things in my life. I also felt like I didn’t have a voice or anything worth listening to – ironic considering the fact that my work as a journalist gave a voice to others. I had spent years reading self-help books and watching countless hours of “change-your-life” TV in an attempt to heal my broken spirit, but it was a chance meeting with Jeraline at a business seminar that proved to be the turning point. I had played with the idea of counselling for some time, but when I met Jeraline I knew that she was the right person for me. She was warm, attentive and she had a radiant presence. I immediately felt that my soul would be safe with her.

About a month later, I went for an initial assessment to discuss why I wanted counselling and to see if we would be able to work together. The following week we began our weekly sessions. Initially, I was quite uncomfortable. I resented that fact that I was paying someone to help me sort out my problems. I saw it as a sign of weakness and failure on my part. I also hated the idea of opening up to a complete stranger and allowing myself to be vulnerable. Over the years, I had grown to believe that by keeping people at a distance you could prevent yourself from being hurt. But Jeraline helped me break that destructive habit by providing me with a safe space where I could speak my truth with confidence and without judgement. This has had a remarkable effect on the way I relate to others. I am more open and as a result, I feel more connected to others, as well as with myself. But the sessions did not meet my initial expectations.

Counselling, I thought, would work like this: I tell you my problems, you give me the answers, I walk away with my life “fixed”. A process, I imagined, that would take no more than four weeks. But, I have learnt that self-discovery is a long process, a lifelong process in fact. And I have also come to understand that I will never be “fixed” because I was never broken in the first place. Jeraline often described her role as a mirror reflecting my own thoughts back to me, but this confused me at first. “Why aren’t you helping me?”, I used to wonder in frustration, but I soon realised that she was helping me - to help myself, to take ownership of my situation and find my own answers. Had she not allowed me to do that, I would have been dependent on her and others forever. But now I feel confident and able to tackle my own issues. And this has been a major factor in helping me rebuild my self-esteem.

The sessions were very rewarding but very challenging. Excavating the painful memories and beliefs I had buried deep within myself was often difficult and many a session started and ended in tears, but it was a necessary journey made possible by Jeraline’s presence and guidance. Before going to Lijeke, I imagined counselling to consist of little more than talking on black couches, but with Jeraline it couldn’t have been more different.

The room was bright and warm and every session was interesting. While there was no time limit to how long a particular topic or issue would be discussed, each session was varied and stimulating. One week I would be leap-frogging over beanbags, the next we would be looking at childhood pictures. I always felt like Jeraline paid a lot of attention not only to my cultural background, but also to my personal likes and dislikes, incorporating these elements into my sessions. For example, one week Jeraline asked me to write my life story. I put it off for ages because I didn’t believe that I had a story that was interesting or important enough to tell. But writing my story has been a massive step towards self-validation.

I now recognise that, like every single person on earth, my story is important simply because it is mine. For many years I felt that because I wasn’t abused or hadn’t suffered any terrible injustice, that I had no right to feel so bad about myself and that my hurt was inappropriate and indulgent. But I have learnt not to place any judgements on my feelings and not to let those feelings define me – as Jeraline always says, “it’s just stuff”. I would say that going to counselling at Lijeke is one of the best decisions I have ever made. I feel lighter now – not physically, but it is as if the emotional burdens I had carried with me for years have been lifted. I always used to feel very “foggy” and lacking in clarity.

Now I feel a lot more focused and I am now accepting of who I am now, not who I might be in five years time or when I am three stones lighter. My relationship with my friends and family has improved dramatically because I am not trying to hide away until I am a “better” person. I’ve changed jobs and I have met a man who, for the first time, I am not afraid to let to get to know the real me. I’ve got a way to go, but I know I will get there.